Let me begin by going back in time a couple of weeks. November 4. (Oh, sorry, this isn't about politics, either.) Chief and I travelled back home from Virginia this day. We arrived home around 5:15 p.m. Around 6:00 p.m. I got a headache. A BAD headache. Worse than any I have ever had. Ever. And for those of you who know me, know that I suffer (and I do not use that word lightly) with migraines. This was worse. I went to bed at 7:30 p.m.
WHEW...I was better in the morning. Then, another hit Wednesday night. This one was worse, the throbbing...pulsing.
So, the next morning, I thought, "I should get some fresh air...maybe a walk would help." I was one block from the house, then it took me 15 minutes to get back to my front door and into a chair. It subsided, then full force around 3:00, subsided; then I slept in the chair that night. In the morning, I called Doc.
I thought it was my blood pressure and I was a little scared I was going to have a stroke. I got another one as I was walking into the hospital doors, so I had to sit in the foyer until I had the strength and I could reason for about 10 minutes. Doc was wonderful, no waiting, she took me right in. Blood pressure was actually not that bad. 148/80. So, let's give me a pain killer and a muscle relaxer and see if that helps. Wait...let's do one other test really quick "just to check something".
Test reveals a BAD bladder infection (I had no idea...I must be a part of that 5%), so I get some antibiotics...enough to take care of that infection and more in case I have a bad sinus infection. Let's just try that. Okay.
I missed Ladies Bible Study on Saturday because I had the nerve to get dressed (I had to bend down to pull up my pants) and I could barely get down the stairs. Thanks Sis for taking over for me and setting up everything!
I missed church on Sunday because I could barely get out of bed. When I did, I; again, had the nerve to take a shower (bending my head down to wash my hair) and ended up in the chair all day.
The culmination was a trip to the ER Nov 11. The morning was terrible...I cannot really describe it. I actually could not get BFF's Dad out of my thoughts. I was so sick...I felt I kind of had an understanding of his pain that night. I'm sorry. I thought that if I ended up in the bathroom, I was going to die. Chief finally came home, and I ended up in the bathroom. I could only cry...and mumble...and then follow Chief out the door to the ER. They helped me...3 different meds and 4 hours later, I was on my way home, hazy, but better for having been there.
So...there's a BIGGER picture? Yes there is. These were MY headaches. They didn't really effect anyone else but me. They didn't cause wonderment or sorrow or grief to anyone other than myself. But, still, my poor Chief endured all my complaining, all my crying, all my selfishness; and then...
On Friday night, November 14, Chief got a phone call from a man in our church. His wife had gone shopping that afternoon with her daughter and two grandbabies (3 years old and 4 months). She was struck in a mall parking lot by a run-a-way vehicle. She died from her injuries in the ER. She was a friend. She was a wonderful, sweet lady. 46 years old. The 3 year old was in ICU in critical condition. Her daughter and the baby were treated and released. My friend was a wonderful Mom, Wife and Grandmother.
It was a freak accident. A tragic, freak accident.
So, what did I REALLY have to complain about? Okay...seriously, I know the pain I was experiencing was pain, and it effected me, but; "this, too, shall pass". My tiny, little world, this miniscule painful blot in my life could not match this one, single event. It brought some things into clearer view. Time to remove myself from the self-pity rant and get back on track to what's real: why I am really here...to reach out and comfort and encourage my fellow "travellers".
It's not a "bad" thing to focus on our own pain, but there comes a time when we need to stop complaining and look at the bigger picture, and where we are in that picture. For the last 20 days, I have not had a day end without a headache. But, I know it's getting better. I know I can wake up in the morning to my family and my friends. I am blessed, and I need to remember that and live like I am blessed!
So, here it is:
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4
In this life, I am nothing and I am everything. And I am grateful for this journey, headaches and all; that I can help any person in need and that I can believe with all my heart that all of mankind is worthy of comfort and encouragement.
I am going to miss my friend.
1 comment:
I just love your soul my sister, you have no idea how much Lori
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