Here She Is...

This is my new grandbaby. She came into this world on Friday, September 25, 2009 at 3:30 p.m. and weighed 6lbs 14oz and measured 20 inches long. After 7 hours and 45 minutes of labor and 45 minutes of good solid pushing...she's precious and beautiful and tiny and perfect. Look at that beautiful face...that thick black hair. And those REALLY LONG fingers. Yeah, she'll play the piano.

Rachigga was amazing (yeah, you read that right). She held up through labor and delivery like a pro. I am so incredibly proud of her. My last baby had her first baby. Remarkable.

Now, I need a name for this little bundle of preciousness. Let's see...I have Z-man and Flower...Beautiful...Bright Eyes and New York...this little joy is such a tiny little...peanut. My little peanut.

I feel like I need to be writing something...profound here. And this is what I have: when I look at her, I am in awe. Like I have been waiting for her for such a long time. I love all my grandbabies. All of them. They are all unique and precious to me. They all hold some special something within me. And this little Peanut is no different. And yet, she is. Oh, maybe they ALL are. Maybe because it's my last child experiencing a final first in life...there are no more "firsts"...at least not for a long time. Rachigga's pregnancy...her labor...her delivery...the first time she nursed...I am flooded with my own memories of those "firsts" in my own life. Somehow, I miss it. I wonder how in the world did I come to this point in my life? How did I "survive"?

Words for another day...for now...I cherish each and every waking and sleeping moment I spend with Peanut; because soon I will get to hear the word that tugs at my heart whenever any of those babies say it..."Oma".

Yeah, You Heard Me Right...

115 days. Can you even guess?? Now, you all are probably thinking about my new grandbabies coming. One in 23 days and the other in, well, more than 115 days. So, no, it's not my precious grandbabies coming to greet Oma.

For those of you know me all too well...I am listening to Andy Williams Red Album right now. At this very moment. It is one of my absolute favorite albums ever recorded...right next to his Green Album.

Red. Green. That's right. Christmas. 115 days until Christmas. Even better, 91 days until I can actually celebrate the SEASON. I am sure it is the nostalgia that makes this season so special to me. It really isn't the snow or the cold...it's the memories. It's the joy that accompanies the era. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"...yes, that's what's playing right now.

And, as much as I would LOVE to be appropriately spiritual right now, it's not even about Jesus. (Because, really, shouldn't we be celebrating Jesus every day of the year??)

It's just about...Christmas. I love it.

The weekend after Thanksgiving (another fave holiday), we clear out the living room...the corner by the window, the tables, some of the pictures come off the wall...even the kitchen, family room and bathroom get cleared out. And they are then prepared for the seasonal decorations. And there are MANY decorations. Because I love them...and because I can. So I do.

The snowmen...the lights...the garland for the banister...the stockings (I'm gonna need two more)...the tree...the ornaments. Oh the ornaments. My tree is very...well...shall we say...eclectic? I LOVE IT. It reminds me of my Grandma and Grandpa. And home. My home. And all of those years we spent away from home. The cookies...hot chocolate...eggnog...turkey. Family...babies...grandchildren...and I get to GIVE to all of them. Presents...wrapping paper...and my handmade cards.

I can hardly wait for the season to begin. To celebrate with my children and their children. To see their faces light up...not just at the opening of the gifts, but at every family gathering...at every song they sing for the occasion...listen to them giggle and watch them play in the snow.

Why is it so different? I have no idea. Maybe it IS about Jesus. Maybe we are closer at that time of the year because of the reason we all celebrate. For me...it's because it reminds me of a time when life was a little simpler, just as it reminds my parents of a simpler time. When life wasn't so fast-paced. No Internet. No iPhone. No Blackberries. No Facebook or Myspace.

Maybe it's too early to be thinking about Christmas. Maybe it's not the right time to be thinking about a simpler life. About family gatherings and hot chocolate. Giggling grandchildren and mountains of wrapping paper. Twinkling lights and decorated sugar cookies. Eggnog and turkey with stuffing. Maybe I should just contend with today. With now.

But, I simply cannot help myself!

Really.

It's been so long. Way too long. Wondering what in the world is the matter with me...not writing...that's just not like me. I have been reading other blogs to, maybe, be inspired...nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Maybe I am just not "in it". Maybe I've lost my "umph". Or the ability. **GASP**

So, here I sit, not feeling 100% (whatever THAT means)...physically...mentally...emotionally. That SHOULD be the PERFECT time to jot SOMETHING down. ANYthing. I hear peals of thunder...it's raining...I am REALLY, REALLY hot...I am home alone...I don't have anything to say?!!?! REALLY!?!?!?

Really. Later.

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights...

...okay, not really WASTED, per se. Time spent searching out God in my life is NEVER wasted time. Still, that is how I felt last night as this "Daniel Fast" thing came to an end.

An end, you ask? Yes. An end. No, the 21 days are yet to be complete, but this particular part of the journey is over, and a new one has begun.

"It is often called a "Daniel Fast". Yes, it's Biblical..." My own words, here. And they are not ENTIRELY accurate. I said Daniel FASTED 21 days...well, it doesn't say that. Exactly. As a matter of FACT, in the King James Version, "fasting" is only mentioned twice in the entire book. And only once concerning Daniel himself. Oh, he deprived himself of choice food, meat and wine; and then it was while he was in MOURNING.

Chief and I struggled all week. Not because the enemy was lurking around every corner; but, because we just were not certain that this is what God was asking us to do. We just couldn't get that nagging feeling to go away. Not about actually FASTING, but HOW we were fasting. So, we sought out counsel...and we got it. Thank you Cheerios and Photomom. Please understand, they did not change our minds, or tell us that what we were doing was bogus. On the contrary...they were entirely supportive in our decision from the beginning. That conversation only confirmed what Chief and I were thinking, INDIVIDUALLY, all week long.

So...you want to know what happened at 4:45 this morning? I woke up singing and praying! And not singing a song you would think...like praise or worship...but the chorus to "We Will Stand". An old song by Russ Taff. More on that in a minute...

Fasting is not about worrying over what food I should eat or not eat. The Online Dictionary shows this as one definition of the word "fast": to abstain from all food. And this: an abstinence from food, or a limiting of one's food, esp. when voluntary and as a religious observance; fasting.

God revealed to us both, that the purpose of fasting is to draw closer to God. To be in His presence. The focus is on GOD. Not on food. And, unfortunately, our focus was on what we were allowed to eat, and what we were NOT allowed to eat. Our devotion and prayer time were hindered because we just could not move away from those thoughts. No matter how hard I tried, I was continually thinking "I cannot serve Chief this food, what can I make him for dinner that's legal?" Hmmm...legal. Not a good word to have as a part of my vocabulary during a time of fasting. There is nothing legalistic about fasting. It's about obdience.

And I so want to live an obedient life before my Savior!

How do you not focus on food during a fast? Photomom said it best...eliminate it completely. Then you can ONLY focus on God.

So...we ARE fasting. And PRAYING. Seems like we forgot about the praying part during all this worrying and wondering! We will fast our afternoon meal and pray TOGETHER. (Chief is working nights right now.) For Chief, it's about where God wants him to go concerning the Church in which God has entrusted him. For me...I want to support my man! Seriously...that really is why. I want to be an encouragement to Chief and to stand with him as he stands before the Father.

And the song? Well, I kind of just stated that...here are the words to that chorus:

"You're my brother, you're my sister,
So take me by the hand;
Together we will work until He comes.
There's no foe that can defeat us,
When we're walking side by side;
As long as there is love,
We Will Stand!"

Amen?