I Like it...I Like it a Lot!

So, I thought it was time for a new look. It's been, what, 4 or 5 months since I've changed the face of my blog...an eternity in blogger-land! And I DO wait a very long time between blogs...so I have been told. I changed the template about thirty times until I liked what I saw...simple and just the right green. My fave, you know.

Then I changed my title element. The picture. I played with it a little...then I adjusted the tone...then I placed it OVER my title and description. Hmmm...now no one will know "where they are". No title. Then it was back to make a copy of the picture, bring it up in the Navigator, and "oh cool, I can add text" lightbulb...and VOILA...a new title element! I like it. I like it a lot.

Still...this in not the REAL reason I am blogging today. Of course it's not! See the new picture? That's right...that's why.

What a beautiful day Rachigga and Prince Charming had for their wedding day! It WAS B-E-A-U-TIFUL! the weather was perfect...the Bride was perfect...the Groom was perfect. It was the perfect story-book wedding day. Seriously. It was touching and funny and precious and awesome. It was...amazing. Chief looked especially handsome in those Chief Dress Chokers and her girls were stunning and comfortable. The girls are like MY girls. I love them all dearly. The guys...well...let me just say I was never more impressed with a group of groomsmen. They were respectful and an absolute riot to be around! We laughed and joked and really had a great time with all of them. Thanks guys! Z-man...Flower...Beautiful...New York...Bright Eyes...amazingly well behaved and obviously proud and happy to share in the celebration!

My babies are now all married with babies of their own. All married. Weird. All over 21. All with spouses and children. Spouses. And children. Man...I am LOVING this.

Really? No...REALLY! I am so very proud of my children. Their lives. The people whom they have chosen to live with forever. Their love for their children. Their maturity. Their understanding. Their camaraderie. The love they ALL share for their precious Savior...a common thread many families cannot say they share...altogether. We all share much the same goals in life...all of us...and we do not have difficulty with one another if the implementation of those goals differ from time to time. Our "differences" make us a stronger family. We are protective of one another...and still do not stand in the way of one another. It's almost scary how dysfunctionally functional we are! I think I may need to look that up...can I use those two word in a sentence NEXT to one another?? HMMMMM....

I love US! This family...no matter how far we physically move from each other...is close. And we like it that way. Look at their faces. Smiling...not just for the camera...because they WANTED to be smiling. It was a smiley day! And beautiful...inside AND out. Happy and content. Inside AND out. It makes THIS Oma very proud...very proud indeed.

Here is Rachigga and her awesome photographer...HEY that's STEVIE! (yes...I said it.)

Isn't she beautiful?

A New Couple...

Brother and Sisters...

Moms and Dad...

Precious...

The most beautiful Flowergirl dresses EVER...thanks BFF!!

Little Man...Z-man!

Slow dancing Flower...

Just because I thought this was ADORABLE!

A New Family...

"I'd rather have a minute of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

I ran into an old friend today. Well, I didn't actually RUN INTO her, we met each other in an aisle at Hobby Lobby...and she's really not old...per se...anyway...

She looks incredible. Her hair is growing back all curly and her face was beaming with joy. She shared some things with me in that aisle that caused me to ponder a little about life. Because hers could have been cut short. Because hers has been filled with much turmoil and sacrifice. Because hers is lived in the present...in the "now" so to speak. And there she was, in the middle of one of my fave places, telling me about how awesome God has been to her these last 10 years. Telling me about scripture that God gave to her personally, June 2, 1998. About how on June 2, 2008...10 long years later, that same scripture just happened to be her devotion for that day. How she couldn't have ever fathomed in her wildest imagination that God would have brought her full circle. To remind her of His sovereign will for her life. To remind her that He is in control. To remind her she need not worry...or fret...or wonder EVER if He loved her and had her life in the very center of His hands.

It was wonderful to see her. Beaming with joy. And that just caused me to ponder...to remind ME.

(From which movie will you hear my title?)

18 Days...But Who's Counting?

"Tomorrow was a lifetime away, now suddenly it's here.

How did it happen so quickly? This wedding drawing near.

How can I act so happy? How can I act so gay?

When in such a very short time, I'll give my daughter away.

I wish I could grasp a moment, and make the clock stand still

So I could let my heart catch up, but I know it never will.

All the worries of being a parent, all the battles won,

No one ever warned me about the day the job is done.

Yet, there is another side, where my heart is not as sad.

When I look in my daughter's eyes, I can't help but be joyful and glad.

This day she has dreamt about, for just about all her life.

She's going to be such a beautiful bride and a loving, caring wife.

I'll stand with the congregation as my daughter walks down the aisle

And even though there are tears in my eyes, my face will bear a smile.

For I know that I was very blessed when God lent this child to me,

To love and care for and nurture, so she would grow up to be

This lovely, bright young woman, who tomorrow will be a bride;

And as always I will be there, with love, at my daughter's side." ~~Linda Jo

Okay...so the wedding is still about three weeks out. And there is much to do. Still...there's time. I found this poem online on a fluke, and I was touched by it's simplicity. Then, I realized, I could have written it myself.

You know the wedding is not about the Groom (sorry, Prince Charming), or the Bridesmaids. It's not about the flowers or the food or the dancing. And it's not about the Mom. It's about the Bride. And it's about her Dad. Seriously. You do not hear the words "oh, this is going to be so difficult for her Mom...letting her go." You hear that about her Dad. How when it's his cue to "give" her to her intended, he clutches her arm a little tighter and then releases her ever so reluctantly. How hard it is on Dad. Letting go...his little girl.

There's the father and his baby girl, standing at the opening of the church sanctuary, waiting for their cue; then, he's walking his daughter down the aisle...all eyes are on her...as they SHOULD be...and everyone watches and murmurs how beautiful she looks, how breathtakingly beautiful, and they all wonder how Dad can keep his composure.

"Who gives this woman to be with this man?"

"Her mother and I do," he proudly states. (How precious that he would include the woman who birthed her!)

The father walks her down the aisle...the father gives her away...and of course, there's the infamous father-daughter dance.

It's not about the Mom. It's like...there IS no Mom. Not on THIS day.

Well let me tell you all something. There is a Mom. A Mom who is more than willing to watch from a pew...to light an unseen candle...to pray an unspoken prayer...to wait about two full days before she crys uncontrollably that she just watched her baby...her last child...marry the man of her dreams. A Mom who takes the call that there will be six more added at the last minute for the sit-down dinner. A Mom who stays up through the night praying everything and everyone is content. A Mom who would make four different lists of people attending the "wedding of the century". Who would spend hours making a guest book her baby could have just as easily bought in a store. Who would plan...and spend...and cry...and laugh...and love...and pray...all for one child.

A Mom who loves her baby more than her own life. The planning of this wedding has shown me one thing. I love my children. I love the people they have chosen to marry. To live with forever. To stand and tell their intended:

"From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home."

I love you, Rachigga...and all I have to say is this:

I hope that DJ can play some really good dancing music...and bring on that cake! :~)

No Rest For the Weary...

It has been an incredibly busy few weeks...and there is no rest in sight. Seriously. I am up late because I can't sleep...I am exhausted, but I toss and turn...trying to force my eyes closed...force my mind to be silent. Not working. How long is this going to go on? I know it cannot last forever...but; it sure seems like it could. I just do not see the proverbial light at the end of this very LONG tunnel.

Sometimes...I really hate being a woman. I hate this whole change of life thing. Didn't Christ come to cover the sin? Shouldn't the curse of Eve have been irradicated? Wishful thinking, huh? Seriously, though. This, like, totally bites. :~)

Okay...a little graphic here...I will try to keep it mellow for the weaker mindset. Two weeks on...one week off. Four weeks on...one week off. And now we begin another cycle...exactly how long this time will last is beyond me. But I can tell you it is certainly frustrating me to no end. I just want to cry. No...weep. My sweet daughters...their response: poor Dad. Probably because I have said that I feel awful for him. I know that "lack of intimacy" frustrates him. And he has been fairly okay with that. Inside joke.

After I started yet ANOTHER cycle this afternoon...I no longer feel sorry for him. I just do not have the energy to feel guilty that...well...for lack of a better terminology...he's not getting any. I AM EXHAUSTED. I WANT TO CRY ALL THE TIME. I BLEED FOR DAYS AND DAYS ON END. I AM EXHAUSTED. (Did I say that already?) "You should go and see the doctor." "Isn't there something you can take for that?" Oh my word. I am REALLY trying to NOT be a nag...to NOT be (sorry) bitchy. To understand that this is not helping him with his...tension. I don't have time to see a doctor. I have a house to clean...laundry to do...grandkids to watch...worship to plan...food to buy...meals to cook...a bridal shower in a week...a "vacation" to go on...a wedding to organize. I am just a little busy right now. AND...I am behind on a couple of the most important things to do for the wedding! I have bills to pay...friends to see...prayers to pray...children to love...grandchildren to spoil...a husband to adore. I am just a little busy right now.

I so need writing. It is so theraputic. Isn't it? It just helps put things into perspective. Sometimes. I am still weepy...but I know that this too shall pass. I am on another cycle...but hopefully...prayerfully...it won't last as long as the last one. SO I probably won't get to go to the pool on vacation...but I will be with all my kids and three of my grandkids. My family is so very tolerant of me. I am still seriously tired. In my body...my mind...my spirit...in my bones. I don't know what I need. But, I do know that whining about it certainly won't keep it from happening.

And...I do so love my husband. He is quite patient...and kind...and he's "okay with that".