"Excuse me, but I really cannot understand you!"

Okay, Saturday was supposed to be the big all day crop day at church. I love the all day crop. I get to cut pictures, pick pictures, arrange pictures and buy stickers and tape and cool new stuff and create these totally awesome pages that show my limited creativity, but make me incredibly proud! I was working on the Z-man's pages...messing up a little...but, then it wouldn't be one of MY albums if the dates were all in sync! BDILE and I were working side by side with ten other scrappers when my cell phone rang. Too bad it was WAY over in the kitchen, so when BDILE went to answer it (she is WAY more agile than I, so she could get to it faster; still not quite fast enough), there wasn't anyone there. The ID said it was the Chief. So, like the dutiful wife, I called him right back.

Some woman answered. "Hello?"
"Excuse me???" (my part of the conversation is in bold)
"This must be the wife."
"EXCUSE ME??? Who is this???"
"Your husband (now, I was certain if this woman had a speech impediment or was from Jamaica or something) fell from 'is back to lkhfd;asdnder and the gareroge. Olkjnfowei..."
"I am REALLY sorry, but who is this...I cannot understand a WORD you are saying!"
By this time, all the scrappers are riveted on me, wondering what the world...?
"The ambulance is on the way, it's on 67th street where I live. He is head and neck do you want the open ladder?"
Now I am thinking "who in the world is this person and why is she speaking alien to me???"
"Okay, Chief, fell?? Is he awake?"
"OKponvpoiunqoeqnvlskn ;lafnvoqekjfn...Hospital? What? I'm sorry one? Leave open? I can check inside." (IS she freakin' talking to ME????)
"Okay...Okay...just leave whatever doors are open open, take him to St. Catherine's BSE will bring me home and I will take care of everything. Understand???"
"Thank you ;lknvqoiqrvnWDLKV I will be street pokamsfvoawefkj neighbor ;oadfsvn..."
"Ummm...I STILL cannot understand you, I am sorry...I will be there in 15 minutes!!"

By this time, BDILE has gathered her things and says, "BSE just came in and said Chief fell off a ladder...what in the world was he doing on a ladder when no one is home??? and he will take you home, okay? I will get your things later." And off she went to look after her own precious babies so BSE could drive me the long 15 minutes back to my house to find the ambulance STILL there!

But wait...Chief ISN'T there. The ambulance is sitting in front of the house with it's hood up. YUP. Broke down. They had to call a DIFFERENT ambulance to take Chief to the hospital. I thought that was freakin' funny! Then...I walk up the EMPTY driveway (no ladder to be found) and find THE WOMAN.

"Ello. I'm (whatever her name was...let's call her Sandy) Sandy from down the street."
Down under was more like it...no wonder I couldn't understand her...she had the thickest Australian accent I have ever heard. I could barely understand her IN PERSON, let alone on a crackly cell phone!

I thank her profusely in MY thickest Wisconsin accent, and climb into my car, back out gingerly around a broken down ambulance and proceed to the hospital emergency room. OMW...to coin a phrase.

He was strapped and taped to a body board and he looked terrible. He was talking and coherent, but he looked so bad, I didn't have the heart to scream "WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU DOING ON THE LADDER WHEN NO ONE WAS HOME?!?!?!!?" I just said, "oh honey...whoa...you're gonna have a shiner!"

Yes, Chief was being the macho hubby everyone has come to know and love, and because it was actually a NICE day, he was going to take down the Christmas lights. Now, everyone knows you leave them up until AT LEAST June, especially if you live in the frozen tundra, June is our thaw month! Come on!!!

He was up about ten feet and the ladder began to slip from under him, so he simply rode it down and planted his face into the asphalt driveway. (I had always wanted to marry a farmer, but face planting was not a crop I had ever envisioned!) He looked pretty bad in the hospital, so I really waited a couple of days to take the pics. Here ya go...now Poppy needs to stop laughing (nice beard, by the way) and BFF can start praying for him as always!!



Here is his face. His beautiful face! It's A LOT better than the first day or two, this is day three. He was really in a lot of pain these three days, and grateful his wife talked him into NOT going to work on Monday. He went to church on Sunday, played the role of Pastor quite well, watched a movie or two, and all in all had a great Sunday. The Monday came. "Monday Monday, can't trust that day, Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be Oh Monday Monday, how yould could you leave and not take me."

Yeah, Monday. Stiff, sore, immovable, painful Monday. He looks like he has the mumps! And amazingly, his glasses came through literally unscathed!! We are just grateful nothing was broken, only severly sprained (his wrist) and bruised...well, you can see that. His leg was scraped up pretty well, too. I would include pictures, but they are not that remarkable, and this is already quite long enough!!

So, the moral of this day...DON'T CLIMB A LADDER WHEN NO ONE IS HOME!!