Can I Get a Witness??

Okay, so I actually wrote this entry a long time ago...when Happy first moved to Virginia, but, I am finding that I need to post it again. Because I need it. Because some things never change. No matter how hard we try to make our lives better, there are just some characteristics that are inevitably unmovable.

Leave it to Chicken to pin point exactly what I need to help me through this time of transition with Happy leaving. I really, really, REALLY miss her! (Especially now that she is pregnant and I cannot be there for her. I was holding Flower the other day, and she was sleeping peacefully in my arms and I remembered how Beckie looked when she was a baby so I started to cry...) Chief and I gave Chicken the Women's Devotional Bible as a gift one Christmas. She just got a job as a nanny for two boys over the summer, and while she waits for one of the boys during his tennis lesson, she has been reading through the devotional. She came across two that she gave to me to read today, and I just wanted to share one of them with you.

I am a worrier. No doubt about it. I keep telling my kids and BDILE..."when you have children of your own someday, you will understand why!"

I don't ever remember worrying about ANYTHING until I had kids. I never cared if anyone liked me or wanted to be my friend, if I had a job or if I had a boyfriend; but then I had BSE, got married and the girls came along. (Yes, in that order) It seems like over night, I became this "worrier". (Too bad I didn't become a "warrior"! Prayer Warrior, that is! :~) ) It's hard for a worrier to pray. Worry distracts me. It can consume me. It makes me cry uncontrollably, and it makes me "think" too much. It depresses me. Worrying makes me worry more. :~) Chicken handed me her Bible and said, "Mom, you need to read pages 588 and 873. Have a good day and I'll see you when I get home!" And out the door she went. She thinks she's so smart!! :~)

Anyway...one of the devotions (page 588) is by Hannah Whitall Smith. She talks about the beauty of Lake Tahoe. It's 23 miles long, 10 miles wide and so deep that a line dropped 1,900 feet does not touch bottom. It lies 5,000 feet above the ocean. It is said that the Lake lies so still and clear, the eye can penetrate 100 feet into it's depths! She talks about the beauty of the snow capped mountains which surround the Lake, how peaceful and restful it is there. (God is an incredible decorator, isn't He??) She writes: "In the pressure of the greatest responsibilities, in the worry of the smallest cares, in the perplexities of life's moments of crisis, we may have the Lake Tahoe rest in the security of God's will. Learn to live in this rest. In the calmness of spirit it will give, your soul will reflect, as in a mirror, the beauty of the Lord; and the tumult of men's lives will be calmed in your presence as your tumults have been calmed in His presence."


I know this may not seem fitting, maybe it does. Maybe I just needed to write it out again. I am just worried. Stress at work...my house...my kids...my grandkids...Chief...me. I cry all the time. I am not really depressed...must be menopause...because (even though I am VERY late) THAT'S not happening. There, I guess I said it. Late. Scary, isn't it?? Please don't laugh at me!

I am always telling my students that if they are in a situation they cannot control, why worry about it?? Why can't I take my own advice??? WORRY IS JUST WASTED ENERGY!!!!

How not to worry? I leave you with this scripture:

"My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore." Psalm 131

AND: "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him'." Lamentations 3:22-24

Can I get a witness????? Anywhere????